Sunday, April 25, 2010

Body Language Blogfest

Okay, this was a challenge. I picked a scene from The Beautiful People, which has been the MS of choice for the other blogfests I have participated in. In this particular scene my MC, Natalie, is stuck in a bad situation with one of the most powerful Mafioso's in the country.

He sat on the edge of an old, bare mattress decorated with a pattern that may have been popular twenty years earlier. It might as well have been a throne the way he sat there with authority, his back straight and shoulders squared. He didn’t say anything to me, just patted the empty space next to him, inviting me to sit. I stayed rooted to the floor and didn’t budge. He smiled at my defiance. Then he stood up and walked over until he was right in my face. I held my breath and turned my head away so I wouldn’t have to inhale his noxious odor. Grabbing my chin, he dug his fingers in and forced me to look at him. I glared back. He smiled, briefly, before kissing me. He pried my lips apart and invaded with his tongue. He might as well have shoved an ashtray in my mouth. I started to gag, bile rising in my throat. I placed my hands on his chest and tried to push him away. His arousal grew the more I struggled and he made sure to press against me as I protested. I lifted my knee up and hit him square in the balls. Instead of dropping into a fetal position, which is what I expected, he backhanded me again and I felt my lip split open. The pain was sudden and surprising, but I would take that over his ashtray lips on mine.

He shoved me against the door, my skull cracked hard on the wood. Dazed I shook my head to clear my vision. Mr. Genovese used his body weight to subdue me and attempted to rip my skirt off. His bare shoulder leaned in towards me so I bit, sinking my teeth into the flesh as deep and as hard as I could. He howled in what I thought was pain, but when he looked at me I saw a tobacco stained grin and anticipation in his eyes.

8 comments:

  1. Empowering. Though she isn't making any head way; at least she's making her lack of consent known. This was a very "showy" scene; the body language told the story quite well. It kept me completely in the scene; and wondering what came before. How he got her alone if he's so repulsive.

    I like mysteries and intrigues.

    .........dhole

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  2. Vivid and gross, as you intended.

    - Eric

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  3. Bad times for Natalie. Mr. G isn't going down without a fight. Tho the non-effect of a kick to the balls...well, unless he doesn't have any, he's going down. Sorry, no guy would buy that.
    Other than that, nice job!

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  4. Great job with the details here. You really pulled me into the scene and I was rooting for Natalie the whole time!

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  5. Very nicely done. I agree with everyone else. The body language spoke volumes. Wondering how she's going to get out of this one.

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  6. I look forward to reading your entry in the LAST LINES BLOGFEST. I had to enter early due to work constraints. Have a great weekend, Roland

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  7. *shudder* Oh my gosh, the odor, the stained teeth and the anticipatory grin...bleh. Well done. =)

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