Friday, May 7, 2010

Bad Girl Blogfest

This is another scene from The Beautiful People, which is the MS I've used for all previous blogfests. Hope you like!

“Hi beautiful!” Dominic called to me. I made my way over to his bar and he met me halfway. “I missed you.” He hugged me and we kissed before he stepped back and reached into his pocket.

“I got you something to make up for last night.” He pulled out a small present, wrapped in silver paper and handed it to me.

“What did you get?”

“Open it and find out.” His eyes sparkled.

I ripped the wrapping paper off before he even finished. I opened the cream colored box and gasped. Inside a diamond solitaire stud gleamed on a cushion of white satin.

“Dominic! You shouldn’t have!”

“It’s a navel ring.”

“Is it a real diamond?”

“Of course it is, nothing but the best for my girl.”

“Thank you.” I fell against him, wrapping my arms around his waist. His lips grazed the top of my head.

I squeezed him once more before I reached for his hand and pulled him with me into a dark alcove.

“What are you doing?”

I lifted up my shirt to reveal the silver bar in my bellybutton. “Do you want to put it on?”

Dominic’s Adam’s Apple bobbed when he swallowed hard. Licking his lips, he knelt down in front of me. His fingers brushed against my stomach, tickling me and causing me to giggle.

“Hold still.” Dominic said, grabbing my hips.

Biting my lip, I kept the laughter in check while he finished. Suddenly I felt his hands move up underneath my skirt. Cupping my ass, he pulled me towards him covering my belly with soft kisses. Groaning, he released me and stood up.

“You have no idea what you do to me woman, that was the sexiest thing ever.”

“Looks good,” I said, studying my new naval ring.

“Looks better than good, I’m going to cover you in diamonds.”

“Dom, no, I’m not worth it.” His eyes grew dark when I said this, resembling Tony’s glare. Shocked, I took a step back.

“Yes you are, every diamond in the world doesn’t add up to your worth.” His eyes softened and he pulled me into his chest. Tears welled up and breathing in the spice of his cologne helped calm the swell of emotion, allowing me to savor the moment.

“Ew. Get a room!” A voice said from behind us. I jerked my head up and saw Brittany. Her normally pretty face was twisted into a sneer.

“Fuck off Brit,” Dominic said. She shot him an evil look before stalking off towards the employee lounge.

“What is her problem?”

“She’s used to getting what she wants. God help the world if she doesn’t. You know what? Keep your stuff in Miranda’s office. You don’t have to use the lounge anymore.”

“Dom, I can handle Brittany. She’ll just have to learn how to deal. I’m not afraid of her.” I wasn’t the tallest of girls and still towered over Brittany. What was the tiny blonde going to do anyway?

“Just watch your back.”

“Yes, dear.” I gave him a quick kiss and left to get ready for work.

Brittany glared at me when I entered the lounge. The heavy, dark liner around her startling blue eyes made her look meaner. Ignoring her, I went to an open locker to hang up my jacket and purse.

“Slut.”

“What did you say?” I asked, whipping around to face her.

“You heard me. I called you a slut.”

“You’re just jealous.” I slammed the locker door shut.

“It’s so obvious what you’re doing. Throwing yourself at the owner’s nephew,” she spat.

“Brittany, you’re being fucking ridiculous. Dominic doesn’t want you. Get over it!”

“He’s just using you.”

I closed my eyes, willing her to go away. Rubbing my belly I felt the navel ring and smiled.

“Let me ask you something Brittany?” I said in the sweetest voice I could muster. “Did Dominic ever give you diamonds or did he just fuck you in the back seat like a cheap whore?”

I thought I saw her blanch before she charged at me, squealing like a pig in heat. “YOU BITCH!”

Joey D. stepped into the lounge to see Brittany barreling towards me. His eyes widened and he ran after her. Just before Brittany could take a swipe at me, he yanked her back. She struggled against him, kicking and screaming. Poor Joey looked like he was wrestling an alligator. The veins on his muscular arms bulged and the chords on his thick neck stood out.

Everyone heard the commotion and came pouring in to the lounge. Dominic ran in and stood beside me. His arm wrapped protectively around my waist, setting Brittany off even more.

“What makes her so special Dominic?” Brittany yelled. Her face almost matched her red lipstick.

“Brittany, you need to stop.” Dominic turned us to leave, but the doorway was blocked. Grant and Miranda had arrived. They rushed over to me.

“Oh, I get it you’re all one big happy fucking family now!” Brittany’s rage hadn’t ebbed and Joey was still struggling to contain her. “She’s not one of us. I don’t even know why that bitch works here!”

Those words stung as if Brittany had physically slapped me. I wasn’t a Crimson girl and I hadn’t really felt like I had fit in since my first day.

“Shut up!” Grant bellowed. “Joey, get her out of here.”

“Go home Brittany. You’re not working tonight,” Miranda said. The crowd parted and let Joey through.

6 comments:

  1. Hmm...hard to tell who's the badder Bad Girl here...whether Brittany's rage is justified or not. I actually think the narrator is worse, baiting her like that. Sounds like this is going to lead to something violent! Great Bad Girls!
    Thanks for participating!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Cool, two bad girls. There's something about two girls going at it that really sets off viloence. I have to wonder where this is going to go. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Interesting. A lot of story to catch up on here. Peaked my interest to know what's really going on - who deserves what.

    Well done.

    ........dhole

    ReplyDelete
  4. Excellent dialogue. I say that a lot about people's posts because it's one of my peeves. When I see spotty dialogue, I point it out. When I see great dialogue, I point it out.

    Because dialogue is how we hear our characters and interact with them as readers. Muy importante, dialogue.

    - Eric

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks for the feedback everybody! This was fun! Eric, you're right, dialogue es muy importante! Gracias.

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is the first scene from your manuscript I've read. The dialogue is snappy and your characters are interesting, I liked that you showed us your MC's weak button, not belonging. I'd definitely read more. Great job!

    That Rebel, Olivia

    ReplyDelete